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If I did end up having romantic feelings for him, then great. He seemed to be a genuinely nice, compassionate, handsome man. He wouldn’t be a bad person to be attracted to.
And if I ended up not having romantic feelings for him because I was straight and it just didn’t sit right with me… Well, then I’d deal with that too, and hopefully, we could both be friends.
So instead of freaking out and trying to figure out whether I was attracted to men or women, I figured I’d just do my best to spend this day figuring out if I was attracted to Charlie specifically.
If I was being honest, I was pretty sure I was. I hadn’t felt like this about someone in, well… maybe ever. I didn’t think I’d ever felt so interested in a person after a mere day of hanging out with them. Not even a full day, at that!
But there was something about him. He was so incredibly interesting. His lifestyle was completely the opposite from mine. He was fun, spontaneous, creative… Everything I’d always wished I could be.
I’d love for him to bring all those qualities into my life, I thought. I needed someone different in my world. Someone who wasn’t just another cop I worked with who lived the exact same lifestyle I did.
In addition to being very interesting, he was just attractive. He was a good looking guy. It was a little weird for me to think this way since I’d pretty much never thought that about any other men, but he was. I’d even go as far as to call him sexy.
I didn’t even know if he liked men, though. I kind of suspected it. Something about him told me he was gay, though I couldn’t put my finger on what. It wasn’t like he came off as a stereotypical gay guy, or anything. So maybe I was wrong. It was just a hunch.
Before I had time to think on it any longer, my doorbell rang and it could only be one person: Charlie.
I hopped up on my feet immediately and rushed to the door. He had two big bags in his hand when I opened it.
“You ready for this?” he asked with a grin on his face.
“Well, I think so,” I said hesitantly as I let him in. “What's in the bags?”
He walked over to the couch and dumped the first bag all over it.
Bags of chips, sleeves of cookies, and frozen pizzas flooded my couch cushions. I didn’t think I’d seen so much junk food in one place since an elementary school sleepover.
“Tell me you don’t seriously eat this crap!” I stared at him.
“Don’t tell me you don’t!” he returned.
“Of course not! This is all complete junk.”
He laughed and walked over to me, pushing against one of my arms playfully.
“Oh, right,” he began, “none of these foods are conducive to the growth of those muscles, right?”
Never before had a comment on my physique actually made me insecure. The way he said it, I felt like an uptight egomaniac.
“I do care about how I look. Is that such a bad thing?” I eyed him.
“It is if you can’t let loose every now and again.” He thrust a bag of chips into my hands. “Consider it a cheat day.”
I rolled my eyes. “You know, a cheat day is not supposed to be a day where you eat a week’s worth of calories.”
“Oh, fine!” he groaned. “Then it’s your cheat day for the whole month! Like you even take a cheat day. When's the last time you’ve even eaten a potato chip?”
I actually couldn’t remember. Wow, I couldn’t remember the last time I ate any junk food. Was I really that bad? I had become such a creature of habit and never even recognized it.
I collapsed on the couch. “So what’s in the other bag?” I asked.
This time when he dumped it, excitement came over me. Out came a bulky old video game console I recognized from when I was a kid. He also had a ton of old game cartridges.
“Seriously?” I gasped. “I used to have one of these!”
“Yeah, these days I usually play more modern consoles, but I didn’t bring any with me from my old apartment. So this will have to do. I found it in my old bedroom closet. It had collected quite a bit of dust.”
“Are you kidding?! This is way better than a modern console!” I shuffled through the games. “This brings me back… I had almost all these. Wow, I can’t believe I forgot about this thing.”
He shuffled through the games with me and picked one up.
“Race me?” he asked.
“Oh, you're on.” I grinned.
He got it all hooked up to my television and handed me a controller. I was grateful he got up and did it himself because frankly, I didn’t think I’d be able to. And it was only going to emphasize how little I used my television to relax.
“So,” I began as I positioned myself in the corner of the couch, “what are our other plans for the day?”
“You’re not serious, are you?” he asked. “this is the plan for the day!”
“Just… video games? All day long?”
“Interrupted with a movie or two, yep. We’re going to plant ourselves in front of the television for the rest of the day and eat a bunch of food. Welcome to spontaneity.”
I had to admit, this didn’t appeal to me at first. I envisioned myself getting bored with the television and antsy to do something else.
But that didn’t end up happening. We spent hours playing those old games and it never got boring to me. In fact, with every new cartridge he put in, I was filled with more old childhood memories, and the excitement from the nostalgia increased.
Admittedly, it probably wasn’t all the video games that kept me entertained. More than anything, my attention was on Charlie. The more I spoke with him and watched him, the more I was aware of how incredibly attractive he was.
He did this thing where he bit the corner of his lip when one of the games was getting too close. I learned he was actually very competitive. Every time he lost, he let out a groan and defeatedly tossed the controller on the couch.
It was fucking adorable.
“Okay, food break,” he said a few hours later.
He had Bailey curled up on his lap. She had been moving between us while we played. She was quite the lap dog, so I knew she was thrilled that we’d spent hours on the couch. In her mind, we were just playing cuddle buddies for the day.
He slowly slid her off of his lap and she ran up to me. I ran my fingers through her short white hair while Charlie got up to preheat the oven to cook some frozen pizza.
“So, how do you like your spontaneous lazy day?” he asked as he sat back down on the couch, waiting for the oven to preheat.
“I like it a lot. I think I can pretty confidently say this is the best day I’ve had in a long time.”
“I knew it would be!” he said excitedly. “I knew once I got you to relax you’d realize how awesome it is to do nothing. It was the video games, wasn’t it? I knew they were a good idea.”
“I do like the video games, not going to lie.” I smiled softly at him. “But I think it’s more than that.”
He chuckled. “How could it be more than that? We haven’t done anything besides play games. We haven’t even eaten our junk food. What else is there?”
“You,” I said boldly.
His eyes widened in shock. “What?”
“I said you,” I continued, just as bluntly. “You’re what made this day so great, Charlie.”
He still seemed completely confused. “Are you… Are you saying like, you’re glad that we’re becoming friends or…?”
“No,” I said seriously.
“You’re hitting on me?”
“Yes,” I affirmed.
“…Oh.” He paused for a moment. “But you’re straight, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what I am, Charlie. I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about it. If you’re asking me if I’ve only ever dated women, yes. I’ve only ever dated women. And yet here I am, finding myself attracted to you.”
It was clear he didn’t know what to say as his eyes searched around the room. “Well, that’s…” He let the sentence trai
l off.
For some reason, his nervousness didn’t deter me. It didn’t make me rethink confessing my attraction to him.
“And what about you, Charlie? Are you straight?”
“No,” he said. “No, I’m definitely gay.”
“And are you attracted to me?” I was being as direct as I possibly could. I didn’t want to play games with him. I wanted him and he needed to know it.
“I… Yes. I am attracted to you, but…” Again, he didn’t finish his sentence.
“But what?”
“But, I don’t know, this was totally unexpected. I really thought you were straight. I wasn’t preparing myself for anything romantic with you. I’m not preparing for anything romantic with anyone, actually. I’m just not in a state of mind to start a relationship. My plan was to just focus on myself for a while.”
“Wait…” I said slowly as I inched closer to him. “Did you just say you planned?”
“Yeah… why?”
“Well, there’s your problem,” I said as I continued to inch my face closer to his. “There isn’t supposed to be any planning during our spontaneous day of fun.”
And I kissed him.
8
Charlie
I was stunned. It felt like this had all happened so fast. One minute, we were playing video games and making frozen pizza, and the next, Noah’s lips were pressed against mine.
And I loved it.
Kissing him was absolutely electric. He sent shivers down my spine when he ran his fingers through my messy hair. I wanted him so badly.
But I couldn’t have him. I couldn’t let this go on.
I really wasn’t ready for a relationship. Let alone with a man who had never been with men before. This was going to be complicated and messy and my life had enough complication already.
Still, I couldn’t will myself to pull away. Not immediately, anyway. I didn’t have enough willpower. Minutes went by and I allowed him to keep kissing me, our tongues getting more and more entangled with one another.
But when the oven beeped to signify it was done preheating, I used it as an opportunity to finally pull away.
“Oh…” I said awkwardly. “The oven’s done. I should put in the pizza.”
He wasn’t going to let me go that easy.
“Fuck the pizza,” he said seriously, staring deeply into my eyes. “And fuck me instead.”
That was it. I couldn’t resist past that point. He was just so fucking sexy. The way he wanted me was so obvious, and I wanted him too.
I stared at him a second, not answering. Our eyes locked on each other, the passion growing intensely between us as I figured out my next move.
Then, wordlessly, I reached down to his jeans. I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants as I knelt down on the floor before him.
I wanted to taste him, this man who had never been sucked by another man before. I wanted his first encounter with me to be amazing. So I was going to do what I did best.
I slid both his jeans and boxers off at the same time; he lifted himself slightly off the couch to make it easier for me, and then lowered back down.
He was already rock hard from our make-out session. And his cock was larger than I expected, thick in my embrace.
I wasted no time. I lowered my head onto his prick and slowly licked up his shaft from the balls to the very tip. Almost instantly, a bit of pre-cum slipped out of him and I used the lubrication to rub my hand up and down his shaft with ease.
I started at his balls, sucking each one slowly as I ran my hand up and down his meaty cock. I had him moaning in seconds.
I knew I would. This was my area of expertise. I was a bottom, so giving blow jobs was the only time I got to really be in control of my partner’s pleasure. And I used it to my advantage.
After a few minutes of hearing him moan softly, I stopped using my hand and went all in with my mouth, sucking him deeply from the very beginning. I had amazing control of my gag reflex and forced myself to go all the way down to his balls, avoiding gagging even once.
“Holy fuck, you’re better than any woman I’ve ever been with.”
I didn’t need him to tell me.
I started bobbing on him rapidly, never forgetting to pleasure his balls as I went along. I wanted this to feel so intensely good that he wasn’t going to be able to hold out from an orgasm much longer. I wanted to blow his fucking mind.
I pulled my mouth off of his cock, slurping the tip as I did before going all the way back down again. I did this over and over, getting quicker with each thrust.
It was too much for him. I could tell by the way his legs started to tremble against my ears.
His hands flung down to my hair, gripping my head as his hips began to thrust back toward me. I recognized this move. It was what a guy did when he was trying to regain a sense of control over the extreme amount of pleasure exerted onto him.
But he was going to have absolutely no control over this. Not if I could help it.
I went even faster and I knew by the animalistic groans that he was about to cum.
I was ready, and when he shot his load into my mouth, I swallowed every drop. I slurped him clean as I pulled away, wiping my mouth right after I finished.
“Holy fuck,” he panted as he laid his head back against the couch. “That was… That was literally the best I’ve ever had. You are so fucking good.”
“I know,” I said cockily. “I’m going to go make that pizza now.”
He may have started this as the bold one, but now that I’d decided to jump into this, I was going to be the one to surprise him.
We spent the rest of the day doing exactly what we did before our sexual encounter. We moved along almost as if it never happened, except that now instead of being on opposite sides of the couch, I played the game curved into his arms.
Hours went by with playing games, eating, watching television, and talking. We did a lot of talking about our lives.
This was one of my favorite stages of beginning to like someone. When you were so attracted to them that it was all you could do to learn everything about them. And that was exactly how I felt.
I wanted to know everything about Noah. Where he grew up, his relationship with his family, his past relationships, his favorite food… I asked non-stop questions. But he didn’t seem to mind and generally returned my questions.
I was always kind of like this in the beginning of relationships, becoming interested in the life of the other person. But it was more intense with Noah. Probably because of his stoic nature. I felt more driven to figure him out because he definitely didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve.
When the sun started setting, I began to worry that I was overstaying my welcome here.
“Should I… go home?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, you’re fine, I like you here. Right here.” He held me tighter.
I didn’t protest because I liked it here too. There was something incredibly comforting about lying here in his arms with Bailey curled up at our feet. And Lord knows, I could use some comfort right now, I thought.
Every few hours, I asked again if I should go home, if I was staying too late. Every single time, he answered with a “no.” Even when it was 2 am, he insisted I didn’t need to leave.
For a while, I thought maybe he wanted more sex and that was why he wasn’t ready for me to leave. But he never made another move.
Even though I’d liked the sexual experience we’d had, I was comforted by the fact that he didn’t try to reach for more. It meant there was more to our budding relationship than just sex. Which was good, because there was definitely something deeper here in my eyes.
We talked until 4 am. Maybe even longer, but that was the last time I glanced over at the clock.
The next time I saw the clock, it was 6 am, and I was waking up from sleep. I looked over next to me to see that Noah had also fallen asleep on the couch with me. With a smile, I lay my head down and fell back asleep with him.
&nbs
p; 9
Noah
Charlie really had given me a new appreciation for free time and being lazy. After our day together, I didn’t even want to go back to work the next day.
But I had to, and Charlie had a meeting with a lawyer, anyway, to figure out his father’s affairs. Weirdly enough, of all the things we talked about, we only touched on his family life.
You’d think since I was the one who found his father in the state he was in, we’d have explored the topic. But all he really said was that his mother had died and his relationship with his father devolved from there. I knew his father had kicked him out after he came out, but he didn’t give any details. I didn’t think he wanted to talk about it, which I could understand.
I wondered how my own parents would react to finding out I was with a man. But I only entertained the thought for a moment. It didn’t really matter; it wouldn’t ever come up. My parents and I barely spoke. I didn’t think they wanted to hear any news from me, let alone the fact that I was in a gay relationship.
Well, we hadn’t exactly discussed the relationship part, technically. But for the past two weeks, Charlie had spent nearly every night at my house. Some nights, we spent hooking up with one another, other nights, we merely cuddled in my bed while Bailey tried to squeeze herself between the both of us. But every single night was wonderful.
And tonight, I was going to make it official if Charlie would accept.
Our new romance was a dream come true for me. Being with Charlie was what I always imagined love would feel like. I found my comfort in him, I felt passionate about him, I wanted to protect him in a way that I’d never wanted to protect anyone else.
Which was hard right now, considering the immense pain he was going through. Not only was he dealing with his father deteriorating right before his eyes, but he had to actually live in his old house.
He never said it, but I suspected that was part of the reason he always wanted to stay over. I knew he really liked me, of course. But I didn’t know if he’d be over quite every night if being at his house wasn’t so bad for him.